HADER ON ICE

Arthur-Schnitzler-Platz 1

1070 Wien

 

"There's always something. Either my feet fall asleep. Or they itch. Then I can't breathe if I walk any faster. Or I break out in a sweat. Then I freeze again. I don't like the food anymore, the sex is bland, my pants are too tight. What is this? - It must all be this climate change, right? The temperatures in summer are like those in the tropics! That's why there are suddenly these giant insects! They didn't exist before! If they bite you, you get a bite that doesn't go away for months! They're probably all genetically modified. And the plants! They're going crazy now, too. They're crazy, the plants! They're all growing over now! Since I don't leave the house anymore. My theory is, the plants want back control of the planet. They're all connected underground through their roots. Worldwide! The plants have a secret plan. They want the total destruction of the Western culture and Austrian folk rock 'n' roll. All of that is supposed to be replaced by, uh, photosynthesis."

(Source: volkstheater.at)